Feedback, feedback, feedback. We need to give, accept and embrace, right? Yes, but…there are right ways to give and receive feedback. I included a picture of my daughter playing volleyball. She has played on many volleyball teams through the years and her favorite teams are the ones where the coach took an active part in the team’s performance and the team members’ performance. The coach gave regular feedback to the team and each member so they could improve collectively as a team as well as individuals.
You can only control yourself, so this article is how you can master giving and receiving feedback.
Delivering Feedback
The purpose and delivery of feedback impacts how it is received and ultimately, if it is effective. [Note – this is for your solid performing team members. Low performing conversations will look different.] Just like the best coaches, the best leaders are heavily invested in the success of their team. Growing and developing your team will improve your collective performance. Here are a few tips to set you up for success with delivering constructive feedback;
- Make feedback a regular component of your one-on-one’s. This will set the tone and help your team become comfortable with feedback conversations.
- Enter into the conversation with empathy and a growth mindset.
- Recognize what went well. We often gravitate to the opportunity for improvement, but recognition is even more important. Think of it as positive reinforcement.
- Provide the growth opportunity in a manner that connects the change to positive performance and positive outcomes.
- End with a positive.
- Offer your support.
Example
Nice job on your presentation. I thought your delivery of a very complex topic was well organized. Just the right amount of detail and explanation. You knew the topic well and answered their questions easily. My one suggestion to make this even better is to work at removing “um” from your delivery. I fully appreciate that it can easily become a habit when you are linking your thoughts but with practice, you can remove it and become comfortable with the pause between thoughts. This will allow your audience to hear you better. Overall you did a great job. You have the ability to be a great presenter. I am excited to help you get there.
Receiving Feedback
This one is actually more difficult because not all feedback is tied up as nicely as the above example. Often feedback is murky and not always well intentioned or well delivered. Your challenge is to take it in and use it, regardless of the delivery and intention. Feedback comes from a variety of sources; your boss, peers, clients, direct reports, etc. Here are some tips for accepting feedback;
- Stay calm. It is easy to become emotional when you hear something negative or feel challenged. Take a deep breath, listen and smile.
- Say, thank you, I appreciate the feedback. Even if you don’t! This keeps communication open and gives you time to take it in and process.
- Reflect on the feedback. Is there a nugget that you can use to improve? If it makes you better – it’s still a win!
- Listen for feedback. Often we receive feedback but don’t recognize it. A few examples – your boss asking you a 2nd time for a project that is past due, a client emailing you a complaint, an employee sharing a poor experience.
- Identify your opportunities and be intentional with improvement. Keep a running list of your top 3-5 areas for improvement and your action items to improve.
Feedback can be a gift to others and back to you, if used well. I encourage you to practice humility and look at feedback with an open heart and learning mindset.